Again, I cry...

I believe it. In my heart I believe it and all it takes is reading a few Bible verses about how adoption is God's heart. We're all adopted after all, spiritually adopted into His family, and worthy and receiving of all the rights and inheritances of a true heir. All it takes is to read His word, and I'm right back in His will. Trusting daily and asking for patience and peace as we endure the process ahead.

My friend emailed me today. She and her husband have taken in a homeless teen. They are doing it on faith, with no payments from foster care or anywhere else. She received a check one day from her father. The only note was on the memo line and it said "For Heaven's Sake." It came at the perfect time when the boy needed toiletries and clothing. She was able to use some coupons and credit at stores to buy him an entire wardrobe as well as daily hygiene items. The check amount her father had sent her was for $333.o0. She thought it an odd amount until she noticed his flight number had been #3333.

When I went on a 2-week mission trip to Israel I was raising money and had the last little bit to raise. I was concerned I wouldn't make my total and then from out of the blue, a lady at my church walked up with a check for $348.00. I thought it an odd amount but she said as she was sitting in the pew, the Lord told her that was what she was to give me. When I went home and emailed my group leader, he said that was the exact amount I was short in my remaining payment. Countless times God provided for me in that way. Over and over and over again He confirmed that trip for me. So, why do I question our ability to pay to adopt? God will provide and all it takes is me reading these verses to know we're doing what He has called us to do.

Father to the Fatherless, Defender of the widows--this is God whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalm 58:5-6

You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, you have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear; to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may oppress no more.
Psalm 10: 14, 17-18

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for the orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

Isaiah 1:17

But, when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who are under the law, so that we may receive the adoption of sons.

Galatians 4:4-6

In you, the orphan finds mercy

Hosea 14:3

Daisie Simcha

I have been working on a book. I have wanted to write a book for as long as I can remember, but was not sure what I would write about. I dabbled with an idea for a children's book, and spent months developing concepts and researching to see what had already been done. Despite all the time I'd spent, it seemed quite forced and did not feel right. Then, I realized that I would write about our adoption journey, our life's lessons and what God has taught us. So, I began writing and the words poured. Writing is the one thing in my life that brings me the most excitement and joy. If I could write full-time for a living, I absolutely would. I'm not sure that I am any good at it, but it is my passion. So, this is a chapter from my "book." It is all about our dog and what she God has taught me through her.

After visiting my local pet store twice weekly for a year, I became known by my first name. The staff would ask me on a regular basis “Kylie, is this the day for you to buy your baby?” Money was tight so I could never justify buying a dog for $1200 but I was doing my research and praying unceasingly about just the dog for me. I was single and going through a hard time in my life and knew that a dog was just the ticket. I researched breeds and temperaments, shedders and yippers and finally came to the conclusion that the perfect dog for me was a Lhasa Apso. After about a year of falling in love with dogs in the pet store, I began to call about ads in the paper. One day I received a call from a lady whom I had already called. Previously, she said that all her puppies had been purchased, but today she said one dog had been brought back because it had an infection from a sticker that had scratched her eye. My first thought was that this was not going to work but I agreed to view the dog. The night before, I made a trip to PetSmart where I bought several items for her, just in case. I drove down to a grocery store and there she was, my angel from God. That little fluff ball stole my heart. I took her home immediately and adored her beyond measure. After meeting Lee, he quickly became her Daddy and she was the center of our attentions. To this day, I look at her and realize that I have never loved something so much and I cannot imagine having my own child and the love that would pour from me. She is my b’rocha (blessing) and gift from God. Her middle name is the Hebrew for joy (Simcha), because she encapsulated my heart in a short period of time and brings me joy every single day. If I love an animal so much, how could I contain my love for a child of my own? This little puppy, that was abandoned and unloved because of a small imperfection had become the perfect addition to my family. I began to see a direct link between my love for her and the love that God has for each of us. The orphans are abandoned, unloved and injured and He loves them all the more for it. He said he will never forsake ANY of us, especially the orphans and widows. They hold a special place in His heart. Here was this little angel of a dog who grew my heart until it was about to burst with love. She was here to teach me in the tiniest of ways how God loved me immeasurably more than I could even begin to love her. Can you imagine how much his heart overflows with love for each of us? Amazing.

ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CELEBRATE! PRAISE GOD!!!

Well, we got the call today! God-willing, we'll be bringing home our little boy or girl within the next year!!! We got accepted after moving our application up the ranks! We know that the agency was "on the fence" but we got accepted! That's all that matters and God made it happen (and our great friends who provided references for us!)

As I took the call from behind a barb-wire fence at work, I had the most out-of-body experience of my life! I honestly don't remember much of what she said to me! I called Lee and he was elated! How exciting to know that God has taken a couple who cannot have their own baby so far, to the far reaches of the earth to the baby He has planned to be for them to love!

The long paperwork process begins... It doesn't look so bad right now, the money is the frightening part! But we feel our move to Salt Lake City, will afford us to help pay for this wonderful event! Its a bit daunting to start but we love the new life we're starting and the family we will have! Thank you for praying for us on this journey! :)

GO GOD!

Baby Bug!!!

Our dear friends had their first baby, Adalyn Taylor, and we just adore her! Further reason to want our own! We've been bitten by the baby bug! :)

Well, we did it! We applied! AWAA asked us to jump through some more hoops, we knew we looked horrible on paper! :) We had to provide some additional financial information, as well as a couple of doctor's letters! We decided it was good that they wanted more information, they could have just said "NO" to start! :) We are still waiting and know its the beginning of a long process but we're excited! Lee also just accepted a new position for a job in Salt Lake City, so we'll be moving shortly! We're happy and sad all at the same time but this will help us to pay for the adoption if we get accepted! So, we're quite excited!!! God does provide in unconventional ways! :)

So, we'll let you know what happens! :)

Narrowing it down.

So, after many conversations about adopting with agencies, we've decided. We had it down to two agencies and after talking on the phone with one, I realized that they were essentially asking us to lie about some things. I am on some medications that they frown against and some agencies will not accept you if you so much as mention these medications. Then, one agency told us just not to mention them and have the doctor's letter dance around the truth. Ok, totally not our style. After discussing it with each other and friends, we decided that if God's will is to bring a child to us, then He will deal with the details of the world, the rules, regulations etc. And with different agencies telling us different things, we were quite confused. So, we decided we'll apply and if it is not meant to be right now, it won't be. Finally, I feel like I have given this situation to God! I am not stressing. TOTAL PEACE. We have the money to at least apply and will find out if we are accepted within two weeks. Our favorite agency will consider us on a case by case basis and completely encouraged us to apply, stating that in 15 years they've never had a couple rejected for the reasons we've struggled with. Other agencies have also told us not to even apply unless we have $30,000 in the bank! Ha! How is that allowing God to take over the financing of our new family? We have read countless stories of how God has provided for families in the most unconventional ways. We're excited to see what He does with our situation!!!

So, all that said, we have decided to go with America World Adoption (AWAA)! They were our first choice, in my heart I knew we'd use them and they are the most truthfully Christian agency that we've found. Their application is the only one who has us sign a doctrinal statement regarding our faith. And, even though they may ask many questions about our lives "BC" we're confident that full disclosure is the right way to do this! Why would we want to begin our family journey in a way not founded in truth? We want to take the journey that is full of integrity and that honors God the most! :)

So, now, the paper chase begins. We'll let you know if we get accepted and if we don't, well we believe we'll be parents SOMEHOW! :)

FROG

My mom is going to women's retreat. She is helping to organize it and every year is a different theme. This year it is "F.R.O.G." Or "Fully Rely on God." Wow, is that ever the truth for us right now. It is so hard to let go and surrender this process to Him. I truly feel that it is His will that we adopt but sometimes wonder if the timing is His or mine. I get quite anxious when I think about how we'll pay for it, and then I read countless blogs and stories about how God provided ALL the money for a couple to adopt. I can't imagine He would do otherwise for us. I just want to do this right, I want to do it at the right time and in His way. Then I see something that says grants and financial help are available. I sure hope so! We need a miracle! :)

Here are some things I read from some testimonies....This is just how we feel.

As we trusted God completely, we became willing to love His will more than our own. Though we overwhelmingly desired children, we could say with certainty that we wanted most what God wanted and knew that His plan was perfect. We have also been blessed to see the tiniest fraction of God’s heart. The desire and longing for our children to hurry home, to be with us so we could love them and provide everything beyond what they could imagine reflects in a tiny way the love that God has for all of us. He desires and longs for us to come home to Him and accept Him as Lord so He can love us and provide everything beyond what we could imagine.

Praying and wondering....

Today I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Last night, I went through each agency's application. Some don't need much information and some require you to tell them everything! Lee and I really want a Christian agency and feel our hearts our leading us in one direction: AWAA. However, we want to give all the agencies a fair go, so we're attending webinars, talking to people and contacting families who have adopted. I'm sure they will all tell us they love their agency, which will only make the decision harder. Then, there is the issue of cost. Some agencies are pretty "cheap" to apply to, while others require a huge chunk of change just to apply! We want to be good stewards of the resources God had given us, so we're not sure what to do. Apply to a few and hope we get accepted by one of them? Put all our eggs in one basket. The other issue is that with all the health problems I've had, that we may not get accepted. I'm constantly worried about that. Last night I asked Lee "So what happens if we get rejected for our finances or health issues?" He said, "Kylie, if we do, then that means God wasn't ready for us to do this yet." Wow, what a reality check. Knowing that I tend to get things built up and get excited about them, I truly believe my heart would be utterly broken if we get rejected. Shattered into a million pieces. We just HAVE to get accepted...

So, today, I'm worried, overwhelmed and wondering: Am I over thinking this as I tend to do? This is totally Kylie to research, research, research and stress myself out. So, as I spend my time in quiet reflection, I am brought back, once again to the truth. God will make it happen if its His will. Go with your gut (AWAA?), relax, let go and let God. So today, as in the future many more times, I will SURRENDER this process to Him. I pray for our child, for us to be good parents and for the finances to pay for this adventure!

God seems to be opening doors for us to meet other couples who have adopted! It's amazing the adoption family that exists and how many others share our heart for this. I came across this scripture from another couple's blog....Perfect!

Psalm 685

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
6 God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.

The Journey begins!

Dear Friends and Family,

As you know our family currently contains 3 members. We are now thinking of expanding our family to include a child.

We are not sure if we can have children of our own and hope that we can. However, we are also praying and researching international adoption. This is something that Kylie has wanted to do since she was a child and recently, Lee has seen the value of such an endeavor.

Several things have happened that have led us to believe that this is God's will for our life. We could go on and on but in short, we feel that God is calling us to adopt from Ethiopia. Nothing tugs on our hearts more than dreaming of our own little "fro baby." We both feel that throughout the Bible there are incidences of Jesus and others encouraging us to take care of widows and orphans. To us, there is no greater investment than to raise a child who otherwise may not have stood a chance in this world. It is not a heroic act on our part, but rather an entrustment of one parent to another. A gift from God and a monumental task. Parenthood.

We used to view adoption as a "Plan B" for infertility or other such issues. However, now we view it as "Plan A" for us! We feel that it is a special calling and that when you long for a child it doesn't matter how you receive one, whether through your womb or through adoption, God has created a miracle. To us, it is almost more of a miracle to have God bring together a family from across the globe.

All that said, we are only at the researching stage of this process. Kylie has been frantically collecting agency information and we've watched countless videos and will be attending webinars and face to face informational meetings. We have received a preliminary acceptance from one local agency and are continuing to research and narrow down our options. We are hoping that God makes it very clear as to which agency He is calling us to use and that we will even be accepted! The process is long and tedious. Mounds of paperwork, agency fees, adoption classes, finger printing, home studies and countless legal proceedings, but we are confident we will make it through to the end!

We have no idea how we will pay for an adoption, but are confident that if we step out in faith, that the Lord will provide. We know we must be responsible with our money and apply for the grants and tax credits that will make it possible. But we believe it will happen.

We don't know how long it will be until we have the latest Toone addition, but we invite you to join us on our journey, pray with us and we will keep you posted via this blog. The average total time for an Ethiopian Adoption is 12-24 months, so we're hoping by this time in 2011 we'll have a child!