Toone Family Journey: Adoption update!

I have always desired this blog to be about adoption. When our little miracle graced us with her presence, I debated about creating a new blog for just her, but felt that the journey to our son in Ethiopia was only enhanced by her birth. As I have shared before, there is no one without the other. There are two (maybe more?) holes in my heart only to be filled by Macie Faith, and our little Ethiopian angel.

Thus, I have decided to blog about our family, the growth of our daughter, with reference to our amazing son. So, with the vast quantity of posts about Macie, I felt it necessary to also update about our son and this process, since our blog in its origination was solely about adoption.

"What's going on with your adoption?"

THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

I think people have grown fearful about asking where we stand. Some silently wonder if we are still pursuing adoption.

YES. WE. ARE.

When you ask , it means alot. It means you are interested and care about our son.

Not much progress, but much learning in the wait. God is teaching us patience and longsuffering. It sure has been long! :)

Oh how I desire to go to Ethiopia!

We are number 27 on both the girl and boy list, and 14 on the sibs list (haven't officially taken ourselves off. Not sure why, it just hasn't felt right). We still believe in our heart of hearts there will be a SON for us. There was a slew of referrals a few months ago and now, a dead standstill. After 3.5 years I finally played my "I'm tired of waiting" card with our caseworker. When she called me back she said "hey, you get several of those cards. It's ok." So we learned some new things. 1) the process just to get a child paper ready is the hang up right now. Just to become adoptable, the paperwork required has greatly increased. Previously it was that the court and embassy process was cracking down and their protocol had changed, thus increasing the wait after referral. However, now the slowing is occurring even before a child is matched! The court and embassy process is moving pretty swiftly at this point! We are official at 19 months DTE (Dossier to Ethiopia-or paper pregnant). When we began the process the wait was 4-6 months. Then 8-12, then 12-18, then 18-24 and now 24-30. It is agonizing to have just entered the "window" only to have it change. It feels like the longest pregnancy ever, with no end in sight! (Talk about Labor!) The good news is that we were again approved by the Department of Homeland Security to adopt! :)

The piece of paper that says we're worthy to adopt (and Mr. Monkey, who also came in the mail that day!)

2) GOOD NEWS! Our agency's transition home (where the kiddos go after the orphanage until they go home. They get great medical care, food, schooling, nannies, psychological care, Christian teaching and supplies that are much better than the orphanage) is FULLLL! Our caseworker told me that it is full to the brim, and most of the kids are just waiting for missing paperwork for referral. And, the news there is that Full=40 or so babies age 0-2!!! Unfortunately, the wait for paperwork takes some so long that the children can be there over a year before referred. That means if, like us, a couple has selected age 0-12 months for their age range, a child could be there so long that they "age out" of the range. For example, there could be a 2 month old boy who doesn't get his paperwork until he is 13 months, so technically, we wouldn't be matched.

All this sounds discouraging, but I choose to believe that God can do a mighty work! I choose to believe that if we pray, all together as a collective body, that God can clear 40 babies and we can get 40 referrals! :) I have no doubt that next Friday we could get the call that we could be referred! :) Talk about glass half full!

And, in March, there is an adoption conference I will be attending! I am saving up for it, and it is at a lovely resort in Atlanta. Best part? I get to go with two of my close adoption friends from Salt Lake, my bestie adoption bud ever from Boise, and will meet a TON of other AWAA adoption ladies! I will learn all about bonding, attachment, medical issues, etc. etc. I can't wait!

One more lesson I have learned. I borrowed my adoption friend's facebook status. After all, it's nearly Thanksgiving.

I had to share. Adoption is such IMPORTANT work. We are so blessed to be called to it. It is more than just bringing the child home. There is attaching, bonding and learning to be done. There are wounds to be healed. There is much grieving. Put yourself in a child's shoes. New country. New people, smells, languages. Perhaps everyone around you is a different color. Your friends, nannies..., family, is gone. Perhaps your cot has been replaced with a soft bed. You are fed and clothed. My sweet adoption friend gave me permission to share her status. This struck me to my core. We worry about such silly things. This my friends, is great progress in the adoption of a previously institutionalized child. We just have an immeasurably huge amount of things to be thankful for...Here is just a reminder. (my tidbit)

"Something that will both melt your heart and break it at the same time is having a child grin, then smile, then tell you they are happy--all because you have just verbalized once more that the food in your house is not going to run all the way out; a pot might become empty, but not the whole kitchen. This smile happened after veeeery sloooowly eating his meal because of trying to make it last and...not run out, because he knew there would not be seconds this meal because we were in a hurry to get to an appointment. Normally, food is inhaled (literally, not chewed much at all) to hurry and get seconds, then thirds, then...until all the pots and pans are empty. People talk and talk about the resiliency of kids; but trauma--including severe hunger--never really leaves a person but becomes an ingrained part of who they are. Hoping we are healing, one meal at a time." (Dawn's story!)

CHILLS. TEARS. OY VEY.

And now, I shall leave you with this little photo I found in the adoption world. As we approach Thanksgiving and Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Mobile Tuesday and on and on...Here's a little morsel for you to nibble upon. Boy did this slap me upside the head!